Gay is the New Black: how i explained homosexual rights to my mom

"is mark west GAY?" mom called on a friday morning while i waited in the drive line at CVS.  she talks (and writes) in all caps. always.
"good lord mom, no. why would you ask me that?"  mark is the younger brother of my best friend from high school. i haven't seen him in thirty years, minimum, but through our facebook connection i know he has three kids and a thriving dating life.
"well he posted a gay thing on facebook. how do you know he's not gay."  Facebook.  the greatest source of my mom's confusion and question since group texts.
"Mom, he is not gay. after his divorce he asked me out about a dozen times. you've gotta stop reading so much into Facebook posts.  What kind of gay thing did he post.."  i really didn't care. the conversation was already drifting towards a wall.  Trying to explain Facebook posts to my mother often twisted into a circular explanation that ended with no resolution and me gritting my teeth. add gay stuff into it and i knew i was doomed.

The ''gay thing" my friend posted was a story of a mechanic in Michigan who refused service to gay people because homosexuality was wrong and immoral and he was going to stand up for his religious beliefs in his business. Mark's comment on the link was, " i'm glad Jesus didn't think like this guy or i'd be screwed."  obviously throwing open the closet on his sexuality.

Mom is a born again Christian with special gift for criticism and hard line opinions.  When Last Temptation of Christ was released, she volunteered for one hour shifts with her Sunday School class to bombard the studio with calls of protest on the film.  i was in college at the time and asked her what horrible ways did scorcese portray the messiah that would incite such protest -- "well i CERTAINLY DO NOT KNOW."  mom refused to see it.