A Word About Singapore

this is an aside... ignore it. blog to follow below: i'm starting to get this blogging thing. i've just been spilling out a little trival thought now and then. but there is a method to this madness...this mommy-blogging. also, am i a mommy blogger just because i blog and i have kids? do we have levels of mommy bloggers, because the blogging,--i can excel at. but the mommy thing--we might have to talk. so remedialish mom, super blogger. ?? sound good? and i will try to pepper this thing with some vulgarity and rough language. i know how much you blog-stalkers love that shit.
okay, onto the blog.

A Word about Singapore...

because i am a general dumb ass when it comes to my man relationships, i've once again let myself get sucked in by "Singapore", the 57-yr-old-expat-love-of-my-life-dying-with-cancer-dude-that-strung-me-along-forever-then-ignored-me-for-three-months-and-got-engaged-to-his-hindu-girlfriend-in-singapore-leaving-me-heartbroken-and-emotionally-wounded.

...i fall for expats like a watermelon off of david letterman's roof. but that's a whole nother blog alltogether

it all started with an email last week. i didn't even know where he was or if he was even alive. i hadn't heard from him since february, when all was bliss with ms. hindu 52 yr old..don't get me started on this woman. .. last i heard the cancer was doing it's business through his bones and lord knows i've wished him ... harm... more than once. so for all i knew he could be on the other side by now. and i'd be free of him and his damn man-hold on me.

but there it was ... in my inbox. an email from him. he's in alaska. woopie doo. and now that he's up there all by his lonesome (where's hindu girlfriend now??? hmmm.. you think i'm gonna ask, oh hell no) he wants to touch base again. how are those beautiful girls of yours? gee, i've really missed our talks...blah blah blah, let me get you all hot and bothered over nothing then drop you like a steaming pile of shit from a circus elephant's ass (how do ya'll like that vulgarity, my new little blog-stalkers) ... he also lets it slip that he's been in texas since june 1. but never called. or came to see me. "it was just too hard to see you." he said. ugh. funny how it's not so difficult to call me from AL-AS-KA.

still, i'm sucked in. thinking about him. dropping hints for him to come to town. we text. email. only one phone conversation, but it was enough to get me going again.

the problem with Singapore, is that i love him. (see: dumb ass). at some point in our allbeit strange and probably unhealthy alliance, i made a conscious decision to dig out the key to my heart among all the rubble and give it to him. oh yes, that worked out well. i'm again reminded why i hid that thing behind my liver.

and that's where it's gonna stay............... for a while.

...above all else, guard your heart.... prov. 4:23